pretty words and four years

This week. marks well. 4 years already.



i have tried my best to keep myself in check for the past few days. Surrounded myself with things to do, with thanks to....


1) Hiro - for dragging me out.
2) Lynette - for well. reminding me some stuff - "ben jiu shi ben!" :P
3) Chris and Yi Hau + abraham - for just being around. heh. i think our new line is - "AN ZHUA KUAN" -- so how now?
4) Amelia - for being really really very sweet.


saving the best for the last. - Grace


But. well. not to TRY and be a wet blanket... In the end. No one still really knows how to pull myself out of the mess than myself, and honestly. if i still have no idea how to, i just have to try and experiment eh? =)




EDIT :2) Lynette - for well. reminding me some stuff - "ben jiu shi ben!" :P --- I made u upset cos of what i said =/ well. Read the sms please >.<.


2) lynette - Hope. And showing me how to.

mini vans and taxis

Misses and Befores

Your words are chaste
The touch, forgiving
As you drink slowly, hot chocolate tether
Relieving the what ifs, the what nots, the last times.

In backdrop of staked gospel fetish
another candle, another prayer in silence
i am ok, the unquestioning smile
obfuscate the soul by pillaging on my plight

rubbing the sleep off your eyes
and stare into the night sky
catch another oogling star
staring and stalking into your memory of the night

Of Eyes and toppings

Of eyes, cream and toppings

Mint left in the heat of your breath
Like shallow surprises hidden in every mouthful
taking u away to rooms of clear, flavoured laughter
and leaving behind the grinning aftertaste of one spoon.

The next spoon, and the next, and the next
eat till you can see wooden shear lines behind the bowl
And dropping the spoon,only of little peeks at your soul
Ever the rope-ladder,Blushes and Cries from the cold.

Vanilla and Berries get thrown into the mix
Lighting the ticklish passion - the untold juxtapose
A mask within another. Signature in flourish with a feather
How ever did sweet tender vanilla mix with the mourise juices of berries

as ragged nut toppings sprinkled with love on top of it all
the bowl is now full. Released like little agonies on the platter.
As you stared back into the mirror.
On the edge of your mind, with the little stings like that tip of the blade.


Only this time, you looked back instead
And I. on the binge, ate sour cream, like i always did.



I need a blindfold

Clarence.

ANGST

ANGST FLASH


WHY IS EVERYONE GOING I DONT UNDERSTAND AT FRIGGING 3 AM IN THE DAMN MORNING.


-fin-

Grace of a Mirumoto + grace

Dance of the twin sisters

the morning wind speaks
twin blades drawn in unison
mourning prayer lit




Grace.

In the unhindering ease of a silent candle
A younger voice speaks
Flickering within another flame
the apple of colours in flux

Traces of outer walls in the standing spire of sand castles
Into the night, Unto the dark,jagged songs run away
Not lingering for the smells of the night
Jasmine too, should be given a chance.

And as dawn breaks
the candle is blown.
Purist, lob the clothes into the machine
the drum turns and the grime is gone.


Grace.

Old problems

Old problems



All of a sudden. when u think you got it controlled , the dull pinching pain in your stomach reminds you in the morning to


1)EAT

2) EAT PROPERLY


>.<

A Thousand Sights, A single pair of eyes.

A Thousand Sights, A single pair of eyes

Already. You can feel the thug
A warm, tentative pull to the east
As the sun rises to another day
As you watch your own ruin via the distance

Hapless, in your lucid dreams
where you only wish you could stay
and actually turn them into reality
taking little stories as they unfold

but then again, such was never you
As your blossom years past you by,
you chose to let friends grow out of you
and you, left on the shelf.

So somtimes, when you face another dusty tome again
you panic, you despair at the beggining of the end
as you always took little comfort writing
maybe, you will take more rest keeping the silence

Then grow, and grow
Because those around you never could tell.
Your promises, your little silent ones too.
as you fancied yourself in that prison cell.

As always, you cannot bear to face them again
the hunting flock of trends and minds
your only wish, was someone whom could tell
oh foolish words, you knew it yourself.

The past, was always yours to forget
The flesh has decayed,
but the bones are still whole
And as much as you wanted to, grief, not vision, follows your shadows

And so, how you always wished.
like i said before, foolish words to yourself.
there was never a perhaps
there is only. show and tell.

In the small windowed cell
where sometimes i let my mind wonder
How are you now? Have you grown, Have you gone better.
And the wind brings news to me. In my small windowed cell

Distance. In her sweet embrace
has taught me how to forget
But after all, lighter days are harder to remember
Because. You remember me.


As Foul.

Cry. and cry. and cry..... and it dosent work.

incessant noise

Incessant Noise

So, Are we not already here?
In the daily outrages of little lives
where underneath silver-lined fronts and excuses
we plough through the daily necessities of the mystic life.


With makeshift changes, were to regard rape as a mild social deviation
Tantalising unknowns to mock your foolish words.
And then comes the praying, Heart and soul collide.
Remember the days when deeds to words were special, remember nothing.


Like another unyielding stone set against the currents
Pitted to allow various days to fade away
The youngest amongst us can hope to try and forget
The oldest can only hope to try and remember


Little angsties in harms way,pillows, pills, Nightmares path
Ancient hearts free to poison and free away
The solemn mind cries, choice , already made.
Noise would now just be another trade.


what i think, what i do . and what i feel.

How to live another life.

They say that sometimes. its better to just forget.



No.



I hope. for now. you have learnt what i sought to tell you so badly breaking promises. I am gone.